Having another half a mental health day.
Yesterday was very hard. My mom wasn’t getting better and all the decisions were left to me which is ironic because if she realized that it was me making the decisions she wouldn’t be happy as she believes I make very poor decisions due to my Schizoaffective disorder. Ha ha mom I did ok.
I had to decide whether or not she was getting the best care and if we should move her to another hospital or not. I reached out to my sister and brother who both did not know what to do (later) and I couldn’t even reach them.
At the end of the day my mom was finally doing better and when I asked her if she wanted to transfer to another hospital, she was adamant not to. I had already decided against it because the doctor had finally called me back and filled me in on all the tests they were doing and I told her, “I trust you and this hospital” but still wanted to get my family’s input.. They still don’t know why her white blood cell count is so high. Could be leukemia they think…Today they are doing some sort of test to determine this. I just want my mom to be ok and am scared of losing her or of her losing her mind like my dad. So hard right now!
Well today I haven’t gone to see her yet. Just vegging out listening to the soundtrack for the Greatest Showman and thinking about what I can eat that is comfort food that isn’t too bad for me. But I did have sugar this morning after breakfast. Weak right now to resist waffles with butter and syrup.
Thank you for the emails and prayers. Sorry if I haven’t been as on it as usual. Just feeling down and once again there the dishes sit.
My family is amazing right now! As are all of you for the prayers and positive thoughts for my mom. Thank you again!
Will check in tomorrow hopefully with some answers.
Bless you all,