Stressors and how I cope having a mental disorder…

  1. Money, although there always is some but yet wham, the unexpected or balloon payment is due like say for your taxes.  Mine are due in October.  Think of something else.  Don’t spend a dime.  Save if one can, even pennies add up to dollars.  I have definitely gotten better at saving this year.  I stopped shopping for everything on Amazon and am being more frugal about going to the store for every little item.  My husband was supposed to take over the bills because of my disorder but it hasn’t happened and never will probably.

I don’t work so I have more time to find coupons and deals when we do spend.  He makes a decent income so if I am careful I can really tuck some money away if I’m careful.

I know I am blessed.  I can’t imagine being single and having to rely on my disability income which I get $1,000 a month.

2. Sickness and getting older.  I am not as fit as I used to be but am getting back on track.  But I have been dealing for the past two weeks with a new medical problem surrounding digestive issues and am really trying to avoid going to the doctor right now because of lack of insurance (see #3) at least until October 1.

To combat this stress I try to eat healthy all the time with the occasional goodie.  I also am now exercising 4x a week on average.  I am gardening, walking and doing yoga throughout the week.  This helps my getting in better shape and also helps mental alertness and health.  Today was a rest day and all I wanted to do was to rest but I am in the middle of several projects around the house and rose garden so it was actually harder than I thought it would be to take a day off but my body needed the rest.  So back at it tomorrow!

Although this can stress me out a lot I am learning that the key to my happiness is acceptance.

Now i am much more motivated to do the healthy things that I am doing.  Which in the past it has really been problematic to just sit all day and do nothing, now I do rest in the mornings but do get busier later in the day.  So it is good that I am treating my body better because I have really been sick a lot and it has caused me to make sure I do all I can to be healthy.

I might go to the doctor this week.  We shall see how things go but this relates to #1 the money stress with doctor bills and testing they might want to do.

3.  My parents.  I accept they will not always be around but my dad is paralyzed on his left half of his body and my mom is a fighter but is still very frail yet tough as a bird!

How I combat this stress is by spending as much time with them as I can and appreciating every moment.

4.  Kids and husband.  Kids is easy to combat.  All the work I put in when they were growing up has paid off and although I might not agree with all their decisions I am very proud of the 3 of them.  Interestingly enough, my disorder did not kick in until I was 38 and I was only lost to the world for a year of being psychotic.  Husband is one of my kids ha ha so ditto for him.

I also stress over the unexpected busy day, making sure I take all my meds, doing all I can for my family and friends even when an interruption comes at an inconvenient time.  I used to turn off my phone, which I still do, but I do take calls when I can as needed to be a good friend!

Well that is the main stuff.  What are some things that stress you out and how do you cope?  Comment below or email me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com.

Bless you all!  Of  course I pray a lot too and try to trust what God is doing.  But it isn’t always easy to do.

pax

Victoria

update

Dear readers,

I don’t blog much these days but life has been crazy.

I am learning what works for me, what motivates me and how to deal with some difficult emotions found around those I love, tears, smiles and a lot more. But for the most part I am doing really well despite this difficult diagnosis.

Some of the things I do to stay well is to every day do the following:

Deep breaths

prayer

read my bible

self care

garden (ok not every day)

Keep my house up

take care of my doggies

take care of the bills, taxes, cars, houses and paperwork

read inspirational books and articles or watch Tedtalks

exercise several times a week (yoga, walking, cleaning house, and going to start interval running.

and last but not least I listen to inspirational music mainly Jason Mraz (ok I am obsessed with him and his music ha ha)

Life is pretty good right now except for some minor anxiety. I also take a few supplements NAC, CBD oil full spectrum (because of taking this oil I am no longer delusional) and magnesium. I also take my anti-psychotic meds every day no matter how I feel.

I don’t feel the need to blog as much as I used to because the delusions are gone. Come to find out the book I wrote I was delusional while writing it. When I reread it (which is rare) I find that I don’t remember even writing it. I remember my delusions and although I am free of them it’s nice to be free!

Hope all of you are doing well!

Prayers,

pax

Victoria

Have it all…

God wants us to have it all!  Heaven, peace, wellness, all that is good and pure.  All that is evil will melt away.  So be it amen.

in heaven there will be no suffering especially the mentally disordered.  Although we do suffer now.  I’m starting to think that mental illness is evil, deceptive, misunderstood and the source of much decisiveness.

Don’t know how to change this except to blog about it.

I have a mental disorder, Schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder.  I am recovered mostly except for some anxiety.

I have fought hard since 2006 to be recovered and God has allowed it through His grace and greatness.

Pax

Victoria

I am a servant of God first…

and foremost, for it is in serving my parents in their old age although my mom is still spry when needed.  it is in serving them that I serve God.  It is my duty but I enjoy it too much at times as it makes one realize how precious time is, death is always possible although prolonged as is the case of my father.  He is still lucid at times, with it mostly but doesn’t understand that he is paralyzed.

 

Can’t write anymore, too much pain and sadnesss…

pax Victoria

how have i accomplished so much being mentally disordered?

I read my bible and watch for God to speak to me through his many passages.  Today was 1 Corinthians.

I also take care of me, take my meds, keep connected with family and loved ones, keep up my house and bills, take care of the pups which is fun!  and take time for me to sometimes get away (went to Joshua Tree this last weekend with my daughter), sometimes to stay at home and often to run around this city and others, finding new things to do and making sure that i always have my physical needs taken care of.

I do have my vices coffee etc… but i make time for what is important, my mental health.  Tuesday I drove an hour each way to pick up samples of my meds which would have been 4,000$ if I had to pick them up at the pharmacy because I am cash pay right now.

Saving money has become my new passion from quarters and dimes to dollars to hundreds.  My husband got a new position and I am happy to say that he is doing very well.  He’s not happy with all of it though but is managing the stress of a new position with ease.

And last but not least I plan, not every second of my day but I decided to fix up my meditation room and painted it green with a tree on the wall.  Very zen with my Catholic crucifixes and my favorite statue of Mary the mother of God.

It’s quite lovely and i spend a lot of time in there.  No computer but I do use my phone to listen to music and research my next project which right now is renovating the rose garden.

those are some of the ways I live in recovery.  mental health is good right now with a little bit of anxiety.  but not psychotic or delusional about things although God still does talk to me through events by leading along this path we call life.

Pax

Victoria

 

I am a survivor…

Ever since being diagnosed with schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder in Jan of 2008 I have had to fight.  And fighting I will still do, because despite the many valleys and mountains and deserts I have had an indomitable spirit and i know it comes from God.

Who is, was and is to come

Revelations 1

I shall proclaim His Resurrection as the women did and say that Jesus lives and reigns now and forever amen.

Pax

Victoria

 

Still looking up…

I’m still looking up to God and His infinite power and wisdom which I have been lacking lately.

Been a rough week with some definite psychotic symptoms yesterday but doing better today.

Stress will do that so today I am keeping myself busy by gardening and cooking some yummy meals.

Hope you all are well!

Pax

Victoria

we all make mistakes…

sometimes we know them but often we realize them afterwards.  or not at all.  many things blind us; many things stand in the way.

addiction isn’t pretty

 

 

 

 

 

 

Found God!

I have to admit I fell into Buddhism and have gladly avoided this trap of the 👿. Ha ha I won but it was close by a hair.

obsessing lately about religion and have settled once again on the Catholic Faith! Praise be to Jesus through the arms of Holy Mary!

Was psychotic for a few days and now back in touch with reality 👍🏻

Pax

victoria