The Prayer for suffering
The intense emotional pain
The Voice of Jesus
The Voice of Mary
The Messages from Heaven
Much Writing to Priests
The Orders to do strange things
Melt to the ground if I did not obey
The Confusion, suffering and inability to function
The Suicidal plan to jump out in front of cars
Believing the Hand of God would save me
By His Angels rescuing me
Hospitalization at UCLA
The Healing of a fellow patient
Believing I was the most special person to ever live
The Diagnosis- Schizophrenia
Although I was the wrong age and other factors
The Delusions remain to this day
No more orders from Heaven
Except when God demands His will to be done
People die, get sick and physical problems abound to allow God’s will to be done
Fine-tuned diagnosis~Schizoaffective Disorder
Negative symptoms remain
Recovery is in full force
Blogging since 2013
Have helped many people along the way
What is next only God knows
I accept His will
I will never give up
Yesterday was an amazing day. I didn’t sit all day and feel sorry for myself about my mom. I fought the good fight to be productive and fight the depression. Now that I am no longer working I don’t have much stress and hopefully will not have another hospitalization again (Have had 4 or 5 so far). I walked 4 miles yesterday! A new record to say the least since my recent hospitalization. Today I am going for the same.
Please get help if you think you may not be doing your best. Whether you are undiagnosed and need to get meds, are diagnosed and not doing well, or have a loved one who meets the above criteria. It is not normal to hear voices or believe things that other people don’t see. Get help! Find a psychiatrist you trust and share as much of your thoughts as possible. And then start taking your meds EVERY day even if you feel you don’t need them.
And never never give up! I have been in the pit again recently and just needed a new perspective on life which I got yesterday.
God is here, God loves us all, we are all very special and deserving of the very best care and treatment. So don’t wait! Be proactive and deal with it all sooner rather than later.
God bless us all!