update

Dear readers,

I don’t blog much these days but life has been crazy.

I am learning what works for me, what motivates me and how to deal with some difficult emotions found around those I love, tears, smiles and a lot more. But for the most part I am doing really well despite this difficult diagnosis.

Some of the things I do to stay well is to every day do the following:

Deep breaths

prayer

read my bible

self care

garden (ok not every day)

Keep my house up

take care of my doggies

take care of the bills, taxes, cars, houses and paperwork

read inspirational books and articles or watch Tedtalks

exercise several times a week (yoga, walking, cleaning house, and going to start interval running.

and last but not least I listen to inspirational music mainly Jason Mraz (ok I am obsessed with him and his music ha ha)

Life is pretty good right now except for some minor anxiety. I also take a few supplements NAC, CBD oil full spectrum (because of taking this oil I am no longer delusional) and magnesium. I also take my anti-psychotic meds every day no matter how I feel.

I don’t feel the need to blog as much as I used to because the delusions are gone. Come to find out the book I wrote I was delusional while writing it. When I reread it (which is rare) I find that I don’t remember even writing it. I remember my delusions and although I am free of them it’s nice to be free!

Hope all of you are doing well!

Prayers,

pax

Victoria

Have it all…

God wants us to have it all!  Heaven, peace, wellness, all that is good and pure.  All that is evil will melt away.  So be it amen.

in heaven there will be no suffering especially the mentally disordered.  Although we do suffer now.  I’m starting to think that mental illness is evil, deceptive, misunderstood and the source of much decisiveness.

Don’t know how to change this except to blog about it.

I have a mental disorder, Schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder.  I am recovered mostly except for some anxiety.

I have fought hard since 2006 to be recovered and God has allowed it through His grace and greatness.

Pax

Victoria

I am a servant of God first…

and foremost, for it is in serving my parents in their old age although my mom is still spry when needed.  it is in serving them that I serve God.  It is my duty but I enjoy it too much at times as it makes one realize how precious time is, death is always possible although prolonged as is the case of my father.  He is still lucid at times, with it mostly but doesn’t understand that he is paralyzed.

 

Can’t write anymore, too much pain and sadnesss…

pax Victoria

Still looking up…

I’m still looking up to God and His infinite power and wisdom which I have been lacking lately.

Been a rough week with some definite psychotic symptoms yesterday but doing better today.

Stress will do that so today I am keeping myself busy by gardening and cooking some yummy meals.

Hope you all are well!

Pax

Victoria

we all make mistakes…

sometimes we know them but often we realize them afterwards.  or not at all.  many things blind us; many things stand in the way.

addiction isn’t pretty

 

 

 

 

 

 

Found God!

I have to admit I fell into Buddhism and have gladly avoided this trap of the 👿. Ha ha I won but it was close by a hair.

obsessing lately about religion and have settled once again on the Catholic Faith! Praise be to Jesus through the arms of Holy Mary!

Was psychotic for a few days and now back in touch with reality 👍🏻

Pax

victoria

Hard to let this blog go…

I am in love with Jesus the Divine!

So much to say, not the right words to describe my rebirth as one of God’s creatures. all life is precious.

not sure if i am psychotic right now but God speaks to me through everything right now.  i feel his immense presence in every aspect of my life.

pax

Victoria

Happiness is within me…

I don’t have to go outside my walls to find God. He is within me and touches every pore of my being. I am in awe of His Majesty.

Been studying world religions and am amazed by the similarities!

pax

victoria

I say my good by-

Dear readers,

yes it is true I am no longer going to be blogging. Wow! So this blog is my last!

I am on a path to different things and must focus.

pax

Victoria

you can say some goodbyes to me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

At peace at last…

I struggle a lot but then there are periods when I don’t struggle at all. I am learning a lot through trial and error what works and what doesn’t!

I am at peace now after a couple of difficult days. Will blog more soon but happy to be at a better place 🙏

pax

Victoria