Well after a terrible couple of paralyzed days I finally was able to have a successful day on many levels and I want to share my secret.
Delusions smashed, reality burns, helpless state, guilt ridden feelings…the list goes on. I am just a poor woman with Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder who does love God first but I make mistakes and then I am reminded by one follower that the blood of Jesus shed on the cross is enough. I also spoke to my sponsor (btw I have one year clean and sober today!) and my sponsor gave me some great advice and helped balance things.
Bottom line I reached out for help and it was received fully.
But prior to that relief I made the decision that I was going to get busy and work on my house. I didn’t go anywhere yesterday except to give my husband and daughter a ride somewhere, so it was me and my house.
Well early in the am I made an ambitious list of all I wished to accomplish instead of just being stuck in front of my computer. I made the list and then just started doing the easy things first despite feeling like not doing a darn thing! Later in the day I also did some of the harder things and just kept going. By 4 I had most things done so I made a new list and after dinner hung out with my youngest son instead of getting more done.
It was cool to hang out with him and although I wanted to work more on my list I knew my time with him was way more important so am saving that list for Monday.
Sunday is my day off although I will be busy today with family and my sponsor.
Feeling much better about all of this and I must add that I included some chair workouts in my day to also get my blood moving. Burned 200 calories and today upon awakening I found myself down another two pounds so seven lost in two weeks! Woo hoo! Here I come Hawaii in April.
Bless you all!