In the spirit of Mental Health Awareness month…what would it be like if…

Dear readers,

If it didn’t exist?  If the world was all mentally fit?  If mental disorders didn’t exist?

Boring!  Like my mundane life right now.  I’m not always bored to say the least but without all the constant drama between psychotic episodes, deep depressions, severe anxiety and OCD it is nice to be bored at times:)

Oh I miss the excitement my disorder used to bring me in a sick sort of way.

I mean when God speaks one listens.  It’s pretty hard not to really.  But I will take the silence.

Many hear voices that are negative and mean but with the rare exception my voices were all positive although urgent and demanding at times.  But what I believed to be God wasn’t true.

The medicine keeps the voices away and the CBD oil keeps the delusions at bay along with medication.  I know i will need meds my entire life.  I have tried going off of them with only suicidal thoughts to follow.

I accept my disorder and pray it doesn’t rear up again its ugly head.  Because I will take the quiet, the mundane, the almost boring.

My relationshiips are all solid.  My marriage never better.  My kids make me proud and today I got to baby my granddoggie.  Can’t wait for the real thing though (grandkids!).

Learning about my disorder was the smartest thing i ever did.  If you are newly diagnosed with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective Disorder, do some research and learn about ways that therapy, supplements and healthy living can all help you to get to a better place.

Pax

Victoria

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