I choose love over hate; love over greed; love over sin.
I am in a better space today with everything although the sting of my sister’s words that I can’t possibly be on my mom and dad’s account because I am mentally ill still stings. But I am no longer angry and reeling…
Yesterday I felt like I shouldn’t even be driving because of my mental disorder. I rather call it a mental disorder because mentally ill indicates that I am sick and it proved to be true by my sister’s labeling of who I am.
I am not sick. My brain is fractured, partly broken but I am not sick, no I am disordered, have delusions and obsess over many things. But it is not who I am. No I am much more. I am a wonderful wife, mother, daughter and friend. I am more than my disorder and can do many things which proved to be true yesterday…
The new anti-depressant medicine is really helping me to not be depressed and I will take it. Although I am not gardening yet I was very close to pruning my rose bushes yesterday. I have dealt with much these past few weeks and am much more sane and healthy in my thinking about everything.
I must pray for my sister that she will no longer stigmatize me but come to understanding about mental health conditions. The fact that she has been patronizing me the past few months doesn’t make me angry it just makes me feel like doing more to counteract stigmatization.
When I go to Boston end of April I hope to come to a better understanding of how I as one person can spread the message to others to decrease stigmatization in the world. Having a mental disorder is hard enough but when others put us down because of it it really hurts.
I must choose love and the way of Jesus and Mary praying for a share in their glory in heaven.
I am hoping to go to Mass today after several months since going. This spiritual piece of who I am has been absent and I decided yesterday that I really miss it. I make spiritual communions for all my loved ones but I want to go to Mass to be with others to praise God, hear the Gospel and sermon and partake of the body and blood of Jesus in the Eucharist which will strengthen me…