After my therapy session yesterday I have been reflecting on my life and making connections that I never thought of before…
She asked me where I wanted to begin and I said my mother’s womb.
These are some of the events that led me to being adopted by my parents who raised me and my mother especially who I love with all my heart despite her negativity, criticisms, and yet much love for me…
~my birth mother wanted to keep me but was torn about it and vacillated on giving me up for adoption
~she eventually did give me up and hand picked a home for me where mysteriously my adopted mother became terminally ill and I had to be removed from their home at age 4 months
~I was placed in an orphanage until 6 months, finally being adopted by the parents who raised me, which was a very cold and strict environment
Realizing these events I don’t know what was God’s plan for me to be with my parents now, who are both still alive, but I am grateful.
Still connecting the dots but I see many events throughout my life which at first seemed to be obscure but I know God has a plan and that we were not made by accident, but rather a design.
Being diagnosed in 2008 with Schizophrenia was a part of that plan and although I don’t know what the future holds for me and my loved ones, I trust in His good will for me. Despite the suffering I thank him with all my heart for seeing that I can handle this diagnosis and life is so much better now that I am being honest with my husband on most levels.
God is good. Trying to make sense of things is cathartic and I pray and hope that all of you won’t hate your diagnosis but rather embrace it and all that it means to you and your loved ones.