Overcoming depression…and dedication

Dear readers,

Yesterday was a really hard day! I had no energy and was depressed and sad all day. Feeling overwhelmed I reached out for help to my psychiatrist to get an earlier appointment which I scheduled for Friday, tomorrow. I know I need my antidepressants to be changed.

The good news is that I am not suicidal, just very depressed. I started to take more of the CBD oil full spectrum which has helped a lot and am feeling a little better today.

I have also reached out to an old classmate whose life compared to mine is extremely difficult. I wonder if she has faith that gets her through because I know for me that is all that gets me through it all. I pray for her and will continue to reach out through Facebook.

Not much inspiration today but at least I am able to blog about my depression as yesterday that was not even an option to consider.

M weight is out of control and yesterday I was even thinking about getting the lapband surgery but don’t know if I can handle the diet afterwards as food is such a comfort at times like these. But hopefully after my depression gets under control I will be able to watch my calories and consider the lapband surgery. I just hate being overweight and eat way too much cheese.

This is the first time my Schizoaffective Disorder symptoms with depression has been out of whack. So trying to get through it but feel like I am just watching life go by. No interest in working on my writing or getting out but today I am going out and going to a couple of stores…

Glad I have support anyway. I recognize that many do not and for you I dedicate this post. Yesterday my daughter hung out with me and my son too and they made me laugh. It was so weird to be super depressed and find something funny. I will share the joke.

I forced myself to clean out the closet and half way through I felt the need to lay down in the closet and take a rest. My youngest son walked by the closet with me several times like that and didn’t say anything. When I told my daughter about it she was making all kinds of wise cracks and made me laugh so hard. We asked my son why he didn’t ask me what I was doing resting in the closet and he made his own wise cracks. It is good to find humor in my depression and is even helping me today to smile…

Here is to better days,

Pax

Victoria

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